Swizzels

Swizzels

Give us a Laugh

Got a good joke for us?
Submit it below for a chance to win a load of Swizzels goodies.

Tell us your joke!

  • Read terms and conditions

Our favourite jokes

  • Have you ever tried eating a clock?

    It's very time consuming!

    Charlotte Bland

  • What is the tastiest part of a band?

    The Drumstick!

    Jeremy Over

  • What do you call an alligator in a vest?

    An Investigator

    Sandra Clough

  • Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

    Because she will let it go.

    Natasha Winwright

  • What do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta!

    Lois Winnifrith

  • I saw my dad eating some torches and lamps.

    He said he was having a light snack.

  • What cheese is made backwards?

    Edam.

  • Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

    To get to his flat mates.

  • What often falls but never gets hurt?

    Rain.

  • Why did the banana go to the doctors?

    Because it wasn't peeling very well!

  • What do you call a sheep on a trampoline?

    A woolly jumper

  • Why did the golfer bring 2 pairs of trousers?

    In case he got a hole in one.

  • Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Little old lady.
    Little old lady who?

    Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

    Fin Shaw

Terms and Conditions for the Fun Gums Tell Us a Joke Competition

Promoter: Swizzels Matlow, Carlton House, New Mills, High Peak, Derbyshire, SK22 3HA
1. The competition is open to UK and Ireland residents, excluding employees, and their immediate families, of Swizzels-Matlow, their agents, or anyone else professionally connected with the promotion.
2. Entry is via the Swizzels website www.swizzels.com/fun-and-games
3. Participants must be over 16 years old to enter.
4. The winner each month will be the entry which, in the opinion of judges appointed by the Promoter, is the funniest joke. The decision of the judges is final and no correspondence will be entered into.
5. The prize will be a hamper of Swizzels sweets. The prize value will be the equivalent of the one shown on the website but the contents may vary.
6. One winner will be picked per month and notified within 24 hours. Prizes will be despatched within 14 days of contacting the winner.
7. The competition closes at midnight on 31/12/17
8. There is no cash alternative to the stated prize.
9. By submitting an entry, entrants warrant that the submitted joke is their original work and is not copied from any source.
10. The winning joke may appear on line along with the entrant’s name.
11. The promoter takes no responsibility for technical issues that may prevent entrant’s jokes being submitted.
12. The information provided will be used in conjunction with the following Privacy Policy found at www.swizzels.com/privacy-policy